Category: mom

Or lack there of-another new day coming off the pains of another sleepless night. Bub’s sleep problems are starting to wear on Ev and I. It’s very hard to spend the day caring for someone who fights you every step of the way when you’re fully charged-but running on empty makes it darn near impossible. I’ve been thanking God every night that we all made it to the end of the day. Last night Bub woke up screaming at midnight-who knows why. He made it very clear that although he was very tired he was not going back to sleep in his bed. So he came to bed with us again (not a habit Iwant to start-he shared our bed for a year that is long enough) and after a while he stopped screaming and fell asleep. Which was great finally silence…but no sleep for us. Both of us not wanting to move and start the screaming all over again. I’m just at my end, I don’t know what to do. I just keep thinking that Little Bub will be here soon and I need sleep more then ever. If he’s anything like Bub I will spend the first year of his life awake. I feel like I should know what to do-I’m a mom- the knowledge should just be somewhere in my brain, but it’s not. Really why should it be? I’ve never done this before. Every minute with Bub is a new experience, he keeps getting older and the game keeps changing. Is there ever really a time when you do just know what to do? Or is it always luck? Trying different things till something works. The lack of sleep makes me emotional, I cry a lot and have to work very hard not to lose my temper. How many times can you try and teach someone the stove is no place to play before losing your temper?

On a happier note I bought something for Little Bub yesterday! Ev and I decided to give each child an animal- a sorta of theme. Bub’s is a giraffe , so he has lots of random giraffe stuff. Little Bub’s is a zerbra. I haven’t been able to find much until yesterday at Target (gotta love target) They had a few zebra outfits…I bought one that is pants, a oneies, and a hoodie. It’s blue with zebras every where, extremely cute and soft! I want to get the rest of the outfits…they are just so cute!

Well it’s almost 6:30 in the am and bub (belly full of oatmeal) is happily watching pooh…his sleeping routine is changing again-which has left all of us a little tired(and grumpy). He’s been waking up in the middle of the night again..then earlier and earlier every morning. We wonder if it’s because he’s hungry-since he’s so eager to eat no matter what time he wakes up. So tonight I think I’m going to feed him yogurt right before bed…then cross my fingers!! Actually our days have been long and hard lately too. He’s getting faster as I get slower/bigger. His recent growth paired with intellect has left me in a daze. Gone are the times of just taking things away and putting them up where he can’t reach. Now if he can’t reach he WILL figure out a way to reach. It leaves me so tired.

We did have almost a real converstation yesterday…he wanted something from the fridge and was standing in front of it making his umumum noise. So I opened it up and said “what would you like?” and he pointed at the milk and said “that” and I said “you want milk?” and he shook his head yes -which he’s never done before in response to a question. Then later he got hold my deodorant and was pointing at it saying “that,that” over and over. I didn’t understand at first and kept saying that’ s mommies, can I have it… but he just kept on with the “that” until I said that’s deodorant and showed him what it was for (rubbing it under his arms with the cap on) then he handed it to me. So dumb mommy all he wanted was to know what it was.

I went to the doctor again yesterday 🙂 Aidan is doing great. He’s head down with his feet under my right boob. Doc says he’s right where he’s needs to be and will slowly work his way into the pelvis when it gets closer to movin out day. Only 7 weeks left!!(well hopefully) His heart beat was strong and easy to find. I took bub with me and he did really good-just sat in his stoller playing with his new airplanes (church toys). I really like my doctor and the nurse that checks me in. They are so nice and friendly. I’m worried about the hospital though… I’m sure it’s a nice place, but the maternity rooms are shared. You get to have a private birthing room but then after go into a shared room. I’m nervous about how that will work. What if my roomate is inconsiderate with vistors all hours..or what if she or someone with her smells…dumb I know but stinky or over cologned people bug me. I will be nursing on demand so it’s not like I’ll be sleeping or awake at normal hours…will that bother my roomate? I just need to not think about it, no reason to stress over something that will turn out just fine…otherwise the hospital would change it. Maybe I’ll make a new friend. I’ve had good luck with roommates in the past, maybe this time will be no different…